I have realized a profound truth recently. Up until now, I have blamed you, the unwitting population around me, for calling me or texting me exclusively when I am sitting on a toilet. This is a gross error and I sincerely apologize. The ESPee belongs to me.
My body must have some kind of extrasensory ability to recognize airborne signals or something because whenever you are about to call, text, or sometimes ring my doorbell, my kidneys release their golden flow into my bladder. Tinkle time!
I discovered this one day while ESPeeing and realizing that, statistically, this many people could not know that I was relieving myself. It had to be me.
So when you try to contact me in any way that requires my presence (not like email) know that I somehow instinctively know and have to Wee one minute beforehand, or the time it takes to completely incapacitate myself from answering said summons. I take full responsibility.
Honest After Forty 